Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
