How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
