OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
