i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
