I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
