I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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