someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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