some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
