:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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