I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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