We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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