I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
