wakey wakey hands off snakey
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
