I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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