kristin has been a bad kristin
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
