what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
