Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
