marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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