we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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