My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
