Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When did angry sex become our thing?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
