your parents love me but you hate me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
