just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
