It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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