my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
