Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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