So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
