Im at strip club and am horny
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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