I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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