Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
