Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
