Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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