And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
