she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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