My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
