I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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