Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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