I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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