He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
