I want to make a zoo with you.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
