I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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