Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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