Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
