i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
