remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
