How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
