I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
