just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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