Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
