At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
