woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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